Eating in Survival Mode

 Buttons is now a month old and it feels like she has always been with us. We are deep in the dark of living on very fractured sleep and are learning how to operate as a family of four with two little girls.

You may have noticed I haven't written for a week- I gave myself a wee break as I inched towards meltdown zone, holding everything together. 

One thing that we ARE managing to do well is eating proper dinners. While I was pregnant, I made it my mission to fill the freezer with as many home cooked meals as possible. It was actually a lot easier than I expected- I just did double batches of dinners that we were eating and immediately froze half in tinfoil containers!  I am a big fan of Pintrest and like to try new recipes so trawled through there to find lots of tasty meals, trying to avoid having lasagna every night for a month! I also asked advice from the awesome mummies on a Facebook mummy forum I belong to, and got some great ideas. 

I really like using recipes from 

www.carlsbadcravings.com and from www.skinnytaste.com. Both are American sites, with fab crockpot recipes and a lot do Asian, Thai and Mexican inspired meals- yum! We have been enjoying sweet chilli Asian chicken wraps, baked sweet and sour chicken, tortilla soup and lots more.

I also went to one of my favourite NZ chefs- Chelsea Winter , and stocked up on her recipes- so far we have been loving her sneaky rissoles, satay chicken and glorious sausage quiche. 

Combined with our amazing Bellyful meals and meals that wonderful  family have made, we probably have amassed about 20 frozen meals. In the four weeks since Buttons came home, we have been heavily relying on these meals to keep us going- each morning I grab a meal from the freezer to defrost and then Action Dad is in charge of preparing it as Buttons cluster feeds from 4-7ish.  To keep our supply going, I have been cooking meals in the weekend to keep the stock pile full. This has meant that we have only had to resort to takeaways once!!! 

A couple of tips for those of you who want to make your own freezer full of meals-

- Double up your weekly meals and freeze half. 

- Make sure you have a variety and don't end up with all pasta- I did soups, casseroles, curries, quiches, burger patties, meat balls, stir fries etc. 

-  As you package up your meals, write the cooking instructions on the lid! Nothing worse than trying to find the right recipe at 5.00 at night when you are hungry and tired! 

- Keep a list of what your freezer contains on your fridge so you know what you have and what you need to buy to accompany it. Eg salad, buns, etc 

My mum keeps telling me that at six weeks things will get easier and we will fall into a routine. Right now, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but every night that we grab another frozen meal, I am so thankful to pregnant organised Me for thinking ahead! 

On another note- VERY excited to have my first official follower who is not family and therefore forced to read my writing! Blogging takes on a whole new level when you realise people are reading!! Xxx

A Fond Farewell

This week I bid a long overdue farewell to an important player in my life.  We have been together for four years, at first just as irregular acquaintances when the weather turned but after the arrival of Miss Muffet and the associated endless days at home, we became firmly entrenched in each other's lives. 

 

 

These are my ugg boots. Dark brown and cosy. Previously sheep skin lined but sadly now lacking in any kind of fuzz at all. The soles are now worn down and have become slippery. The heels are collapsing. They are HAD IT.

Actually, they were probably well past it last year. I have been muttering about needing new slippers for months and months but didn't actually do anything about it. It's as if I felt like maybe if I waited long enough, that new ones would just magically appear in my closet. It's funny because if the girls even remotely need anything, then you can bet your bottom dollar that I will arrange to get whatever they need as soon as I can. I have no problem spending our money on them- in fact, I have a self imposed ban on going in Cotton on Kids as I can't be trusted not to spend all our grocery money in there. But when it comes to spending money on myself.... Well that's another story!  Suddenly I become very budget conscious and can put off spending money on myself for months. 

After Buttons was born, I went for a skid while holding her and wearing my uggs. The time had come when enough was enough. Time to shop. Being a Mumma of a newborn, I did what any other mother does and turned to the Internet. I searched in all of my regular haunts and found the perfect replacement slippers. But did I buy them ? 

No. 

I looked at the price, $99 and went " oh that's too much". Never mind that I wear slippers every day at some stage. (I don't wear them out to public places . Yet.)Never mind that I have not bought anything new for myself since I had to buy maternity jeans in November. I just couldn't justify spending $100 on a) myself and b) on slippers. 

So I didn't buy them and just kept visiting them on the website, like I visit Facebook. Just checking they were still there. And checking the price.

Coming from Farmers, I knew that they would come down in price if I waited. So I watched and waited. Until finally, on Saturday, I bit the bullet. Action Dad parked the car with both girls in it and I ran into the store and bought them. No dawdling. No being distracted by pretty clothes and make up. In and out in less than 15 mins. 

So I present to you, my new favourite foot friends 

 

My feet are cosy and thankful. 

Toddler Tantrums

This is not the post I had planned to write. Had taken lovely pictures for and mulled over in my head and been thinking about all night. Instead this is an emotionally driven, so tired I can't even think straight kind of post. 

Toddlers. I mean seriously. I almost can't even put it into words - how emotionally charged and dramatic and infuriating they can be. I have to add the disclaimer that when I  say " toddlers", I really only have my own experience with Miss Muffet to draw from. And I will also add the disclaimer that she can be charming and gorgeous and delicious and at the end of the day I love her to pieces. 

At the moment, I just don't like her very much. 

Ugh. That makes me feel so guilty to say that and think that and immediately I feel like a bad Mumma. 

Let me paint the picture. Buttons waking every 2 hours for feeds. Been awake since 5.30am. Raced around getting Buttons fed and Miss Muffet dressed and Buttons dressed and Miss Muffet fed and Buttons fed and Miss Muffet's hair done and teeth brushed and gulped down a coffee and Buttons fed and threw on some clothes and got everyone in the car plus the pram and the front pack. Whoops, no breakfast for Mumma or even brushing my hair- mum bun and birdy wash with baby wipes for me! 

Arrived at Miss Muffet's gym -ON TIME and got everyone out of the car and safely into the building with only a wee detour to jump in puddles on the way. Shoes off and "don't swing on the gate". And finally...: time for the weekly gymnastics class. 

Miss Muffet was not playing the game today. She screamed and threw herself on the ground. And refused to follow the very few rules there are in place- like one at a time on the trampoline and don't take equipment off other people. Did I mention the screaming? Like ear piercing, shrieking, yelling. I tried gently reminding her of the rules. Nope. I tried distraction. Nope. I carried her off to a corner to talk to her quietly and give her some time out. Nope. 

After being there for TEN minutes, I had had enough. I  picked her up under my arm, had Buttons in the front pack and a bag in the other arm. An angel of a mum came and held the door for me and helps wrangle shoes onto Miss Muffet. 

Got everyone back in the car. Shut the door. Yelled at Miss Muffet from the private safety bubble of my car. Burst into tears. 

(Drove off and bought peanut M&Ms from the petrol station. I have since eaten ALL of them)

Miss Muffet is only just 2 with a new baby sister so I should expect tantrums. And I don't care about the cost of the class. It's more the effort to get there and the fact   that she loves gymnastic equipment and is always hanging and swinging from furniture at home. It's more that I need to make friends in this new suburb and it's hard when your child is being  "that child". It's more that I feel out of control and like I am battling with a tiny tyrant and losing on an epic scale. It's that I am so damn tired. And more importantly it's because in those moments, I don't like my child.

As I write this, she is cuddled up beside me and totally happy, babbling and watching some inane cartoon. We have played with her trains and done some washing and read some books. 

Toddlers. I mean, SERIOUSLY. 

Makara Beach Visit

As far back as I can remember, my family have visited the rugged coastline of Makara for beach walks and BBQs, Sunday drives, rock pool scouring and hot chocolates at the nearby cafe.

 I have strong memories of visiting there as a little girl 

When Action Dad and I first got together, I introduced him to the rocky shore and we regularly frequented the cafe to read magazines and drink coffee while the wind  outside shook the windows. 

This weekend we decided to introduce the girls to Makara and managed to pick the perfect weather for it. It wouldn't be Makara without bone chilling cold and wind so strong it pushes you backwards! After winding our way through Ohariu Valley, Buttons needed feeding, so I sat in the car watching Miss Muffet and Action Dad playing outside. 

They threw rocks in the sea and chased the sea gulls. Miss Muffet tried to compete with the howling wind by shrieking. She had an absolutely awesome time 

 

I love this picture of her, all rugged up in her woollen coat that Nana made! Note the pigtails blowing backwards in the wind? 

 

We had to bribe her to come in from the cold with hot chips from the cafe. The Makara cafe has been there as  long as I can remember, with the same menu, old magazines and mismatched chairs. 

We had a really lovely family outing and I hope my girls will grow up with fond memories of Makara, just like I have.  

Saturday Smiles

Each Saturday I try to reflect on my week and think about the things that have made smile. 

 

Mr Expressions, the Baby Whisperer. 

We have been trying to get out of the house a wee bit more, as Miss Muffet has been slowly going a bit stir crazy and therefore driving everyone else crazy. It may take me two hours to round everyone up and leave the actual house- but we are getting out there in the big wide world! I took the girls to visit Mr Expression, who is totally in love with his newest cousin. He insisted on holding her all by himself and when he got his wish, sat there utterly blissed out. I love this pic, it makes me so happy. 

 

My Little Helper 

Miss Muffet has decided that she is my little helper which is both a blessing ( when she is actually helping) and a pain in the butt ( when she insists on helping me use the toilet!!!?!!)  She has her own squirty bottle of water and cloth and likes to assist me in the cleaning the bathroom. This photo was taken before she soaked herself and the floor ....

 

Girls Night! 

Action Dad went to the rugby, leaving me at home on a Saturday night. What's a girl to do except for rent some chick flicks and eat takeaways with her sister and mother??? 

Three Wishes

 

I am feeling pretty sleep deprived at the moment- Buttons is feeding every two hours and has taken a dislike to the bassinet. I believe my words at 3.30am were " Please, oh please just go to sleep and stay asleep!" So I apologise in advance if this post is a little loony tunes.

But as I was sitting there rocking Buttons, I got to thinking about what I would wish for if I had a fairy godmother to grant me three wishes. 

Beyond sleeping children- because I am not wasting wishes on that. My kids will sleep- eventually! 

Magical Wish Number 1. 

I wish I could have a bath. A nice big, hot, deep bath with delicious soapy bubbles from Lush. And to be able to stay in there for half an hour, by myself. With no little visitors to lean over and play with the bubbles and throw in plastic bath toys. Having a good book and a bowl of jelly tip ice cream to keep my entertained and indulged would make it perfect. ( Action Dad thinks I am nuts for liking ice cream in the bath. I tell him that I don't need that kind of negativity in my life ) 

Magical Wish Number 2

I would like to wish for my craft nook to be tidy and wait for it ... To stay tidy. Since we have moved into our new house, I have probably cleaned the cupboard about 15 times but it happens to come off our living room and is a convenient place to stash stuff when people are visiting. My lovely younger sister charmingly called it a "crap cupboard" and said that everyone has a spot like it in their house- the place where everything that doesn't have a home ends up. 

Avert your eyes if you get scared easily....

 

( so embarrassing!!!!!) 

Magical Wish Number 3

Ah.. My final wish. I would like an extra 1.5 hours for my day. But I need to be specific here- this time must only come at the end of the day, once the kids are in bed- NOT during the witching hour. This time is to be used for hanging out with Action Dad ( lying on couches watching The Block doesn't count as hanging out)  or crafting, or for visiting KMart. It is magical time so it doesn't make me more tired. It is not for cleaning or cooking or organising. It can be used for snuggling in bed with a book.

If you had asked me three years ago what I would have wished for, those wishes would be very, very different. And I bet if you ask again in a year or so, they would be different again.

But right now, they are what I really really want. Pretty please with a cherry on top 😍

Saturday Smiles ( on Monday!)

Oops. I realise it is Monday and I have managed to already miss my first Saturday Smiles follow up- bad Mumma, bad Mumma!  

But I am going to claim the infamous newborn brain fog combined with my own sinus infection and poor Buttons' very first cold resulting in NO sleep being had in our house. 

Oh well, who needs sleep? It's not vital to our sanity. Or health. Or ability to conduct ourselves in a civilised society. 

Anyway.... The fog is lifting a little, so here is my belated Saturday Smiles- the things that have made me happy recently. 

Bellyful Delivery 

Amazing Sister referred us to Bellyful, realising that with Action Dad being back at work and Buttons' inclination to cluster feed from 4pm was resulting in not a lot of dinner making. For those of you who don't know, Bellyful are an incredible organisation who deliver meals to families who have recently welcomed new family members or who are experiencing illness. You can refer other people or even nominate yourself, and there is no financial criteria- they are just helping out people who need support. 

 

When the lovely lady dropped off four meals for us, I came to the door with a screaming toddler attached to my leg and a baby in my arms- and I could have kissed her. An amazing organisation and when I am on my feet a bit more, I plan on volunteering for one of their cookathons. 

Oreo Chocolate 

 

Breastfeeding. Sleep deprived. Sweet tooth. Any excuse really- this strawberry, biscuitty, chocolatey goodness is hitting the spot and making me all kinds of happy.  

Book reading 

I am a huge bookworm and have been feeling like I have lost a limb, or at least a few brain cells as I have not managed to read much of anything lately. As a kid, I was known for bringing a stack of novels with me everywhere, even for a trip to the supermarket. I have a soft spot for chick lit, young adult novels and anything by Nicky Pellegrino. Before Buttons,  I was averaging two books a week, reading every night before sleep. 

Post Buttons.... It has taken me just over a month to finish "Delicious"

This book was very aptly named- it follows Billie, a new journalist graduate who has recently gained a job at Delicious, a food magazine. She discovers some mysterious letters in the magazines library and decides to try and track down their author. Some history, some romance, some mystery- all set within the backdrop of a chefs kitchen meant that this book made me feel cosy... And quite hungry. A great read and finishing it has meant I feel like I have atoned for some of my lost brain cells while watching Geordie Shore.

Overwhelmed

This week I am feeling really overwhelmed. There is no other word that I can think of that which can do it justice. 

I knew that welcoming a newborn into the family would mean broken sleep and mess and that Miss Muffet could well feel jealous and act out. ( Gosh I am a know it all!) Lots of lovely friends and family had talked to me about adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn and I had listened to their advice so I figured that I had some idea about what I was in for. 

I wasn't. I'm not. I'm overwhelmed.

I had forgotten the actual brain ache that comes with feeding a newborn every 2 hrs. I forgot that you had to rush through the shower because babies have an incredible sense that alerts them to when you are trying to take 5 mins for yourself- no mummy no! I had forgotten about eating one handed and having cold cups of coffee littering the house but none actually inside your system. 

I hadn't realised how hard it would be to have two little people that need me ALL the time. I feel like at the moment I am continuously saying " in a minute" "no! " " just wait" to poor Miss Muffet, who is utterly bewildered as to why Mumma isn't at her beck and call. This morning she was literally tugging on my hands as I was trying to feed Buttons, while simultaneously tugging on my heart as I know I am not giving her enough attention. 

Miss Muffet is naturally acting out and pushing every single button that she can so that she can get attention. She has been driving me up the wall with whining and grizzling and climbing on the benches. I was talking to a friend about the situation and she recommended that I make the time to spend at least 15mins with her each day, just playing and following her lead. No telling her off or directing the play- just spending time together enjoying each other's company. 

So yesterday, while Buttons was snoozing, I ignored the 1001 things I needed to be doing (vacuuming, folding washing, showering, making dinner, eating lunch, getting properly dressed...) and Miss Muffet and I had a lovely time colouring in and playing with stickers. My job was to take the lids off the felts and peel the backs off the stickers and resist the urge to try get her to colour in one place or on just one page at a time. 

 

 

And it was so nice. I felt so much better not having to tell her what to do or tell her off. And as a result we had a much nicer afternoon- even when I had to go and tend to Buttons, she was happy to stay and play with her Pom poms. 

 

My friend's advice was just what I needed and probably just what Miss Muffet needed too. A small victory for us and a step to feeling like I may be able to get there with this whole raising two little people business .

Best Ever Burgers?

One of the things I did when preparing for the arrival of Buttons was to stock my freezer with as many meals as I could in preparation for days of cluster feeding, exhaustion and general can't be botheredness. And jeez, I am so glad I did! There is nothing better than taking a meal out of the freezer in the morning and then heating it at dinner time and adding a salad or stir fry vege. 

One of the meals I made and froze was a recipe I found on Pintrest - The Best Burgers . I actually made these for dinner a few weeks back and just doubled up so that I was killing two birds with one stone- dinner and some for the freezer! 

Action Dad and I are HUGE burger fans and we can usually get Miss Muffet to eat them as well, as long as we deconstruct them. So when I went recipe hunting on Pintrest and found The Best Burgers, I figured I had better give them a go! 

 

These are YUM! The pattie are half beef mince and half pork mince and they are super moist and flavoursome. I managed to make 12 patties out of the recipe so we actually ended up with four meals- bonus! 

I would definitely recommend making these- so much tastier and cheaper than bought burgers.  Delicious, thank you Recipe Rebel! 

 

Crafty Goodness Progress Report

You may remember that I have imposed strict crafty rules for myself and must finish one project before I start the next. I have been trying to push on through with my Dimensions Christmas Stocking, despite falling a wee bit out of love with the pattern- don't you hate that!?

I have been trying to snatch a half hour of cross stitching at least four times a week, in the hopes that I can get over the hump and be inspired by seeing some progress. I usually Cross stitch in front of the TV while waiting for Button's last feed or until it becomes acceptable for me to go to bed! 

Here is a reminder of what my project looked like a few weeks back ....

 

And here is what the finished product should look like....

 

And finally- where I am up to....

 

Hopefully you can see a difference- the thing with these detailed patterns is that the progress is so slow, you feel like you are not getting anywhere! 

Saturday Smiles

At the moment I am surviving on very broken sleep, a lot of coffee and copious amounts of sugar. I have a constant foggy brain and am needing to write down anything that even remotely needs remembering. I am also learning to quickly survey double meltdown situations where both of my girls are howling and decide who I need to attend to first and who can manage to wait for a few more minutes before they implode.

Luckily, I have a lot of lovely, kind and funny people in my life who help me to smile. So for the next few weeks I am going to try and write a post every Saturday which details some of the moments in my week that made me smile.

My Choo Choo Girl

Funny little Miss Muffet is a big fan of trains and we are very excited that her slowly expanding repertoire of words includes the word " choo choo". The other night, as I headed off to bed, I stopped in to check on Miss Muffet and make sure that she was actually in bed and not asleep on the floor. This is what I found:

 

Little Miss Muffet fast asleep and cuddled up to her favourite trains, which she has smuggled to bed without Action Dad noticing. Love her!

Daylight Robbery
Today we went to visit Amazing Sister, Mr Darcy and Mr Expression. Mr Expression sidled up to me and showed me a wee plastic bag of his treasure- a collection of small stones he had decided were Very Important and Most Special. Mr Expression very kindly offered to gift me one stone which I accepted. He then sat and thought for awhile before announcing that he was going to go outside and that he required a table because he was going to sell his stones. Amazing Sister and I tried to convince him that this may not be the best idea and I offered to buy a second stone. I scrounged $1.20 in loose change from my purse and counted out $1. Mr Expression gave me my original stone! I offered him the further 20 cents, which he took. When I asked what that would get me he replied - " one! And you already have it! ". That boy is going to go places.

Flowers

We were so lucky to receive beautiful bunches of flowers to celebrate the arrival of Buttons. I have had them all sitting on our kitchen bench and everytime I see them, they make me smile. 

 

Letting go

 

I am sitting on my couch, nursing my week old baby, watching Miss Muffet tear around the house and trying to avoid looking at all the chaos and mess around me. 

The pile of washing to be folded keeps catching my eye. The washing in the machine keeps nagging at me to go and hang it on the line. I can see every crumb and speck on the carpet. The breakfast dishes and empty milk jug are calling to me from the kitchen bench. It feels like Miss Muffet has strewn every single toy she owns from one end of the house to the other. 

I would turn around and hop back into bed, if only they didn't need changing! 

I hear you laughing and saying how I need to just focus on looking after my two girls and that the housework will always be there.... But it's hard. 

For the last ten or so years ( coincidentally since I have known Action Dad!) I have become increasingly organised and routined.  It brings me a huge amount of peace and satisfaction to know that every Tuesday the bathrooms will be cleaned and that every single pair of brightly coloured tights can be found in their drawer in Miss Muffet's room next to her little singlets. I am one of those people who writes a weekly agenda and knows exactly when I can fit in grocery shopping, visits to the park and mopping the floor.

Whenever life intervenes and reminds me that actually no, I am not in control of everything, and the proverbial poo hits the fan, I don't cope all that well. 

Everything piles up around me and becomes unmanageable and I find myself lying on the couch watching Toddlers and Tiaras marathons and hoping I can create a dinner out of the half pumpkin, oven chips and relish floating around in the fridge. It literally feels like everything is too hard and I can't find a place to even start. Once Miss Muffet arrived, I really couldn't cope with feeling out of control, so employed my control freak cleaning schedule, weekly routine and meal planning missions. 

My cleaning schedule is based off of the one below, just rearranged to suit our week and adapted to fit our house's needs.

 

Credit: www.bonfiresandwine.com

I like doing half an hour or so  of cleaning each week day as opposed to doing a total clean, one day a week. And I know that even though Miss Muffet is actually moonlighting as a professional house demolition crew, the major jobs are done each week. 

But now we have welcomed Buttons into our family and we are all shifting and readjusting our lives. We have chosen to breastfeed which means a lot of couch time and when I am not feeding, I am changing kids clothes, making snacks and dinners and making sure that I spend some time with Miss Muffet. Poor wee thing is used to Mumma being available to her nearly all of the time and has not really cottoned on this whole sharing palaver. 

So, I am having to turn off my inner control freak and ignore the fact that our house is not as clean as I would like. Life will eventually settle into a routine, albeit new, and I will find new ways to juggle a busy house and home. 

Because what is really important at the end of the day, and what my family will remember, is the cuddles and love and fun that we share. There are no awards for having the cleanest home and no one is going to report me for feeding my family cheese on toast and the odd takeaway over the coming weeks. What really matters is the time spent together.