Thursday 5 May 2016

I carried a watermelon



Did you know that the average watermelon weighs about 9kg?  And at this precise moment I feel like my lovely tummy tenant is aiming to break the records and match that weight. 

As of today, I am 36 weeks and four days pregnant. Those four days are very important as they mean I am inching closer to 37 weeks and towards the finishing line. Because I have officially reached the Over It Stage. 

I am now waddling like some kind of grotesque duck and am waking through the night because my hips ache. I am super tired and scratchy and the littlest things are setting me off. I am just so damn tired and all I want to do is lie on the couch and watch MKR and eat black liquorice. 

You too could wear a sexy turbi grip ! 



Apparently, Miss Muffet has got the memo that life is about to change and that she will need to share her role as the centre of our lives. While she generally tends toward curiosity and light mischief making, she seems to know that I can't keep up with her and has veered towards actual chaos. In the last week we have had the following situations: trip to A&E after she stuffed flowers up her nostril, attempted escape from the playground at the mall, smearing the contents of a dirty nappy all over herself and the carpet and then just yesterday ANOTHER sudocreme incident. You can bet Action Dad heard all about that last one as he was the one who left it out- remember I said the littlest things are setting me off? Read RAGE! 

All signs and scans are pointing towards baby weighing between 10-11pound. Miss Muffet came in at 10.8 pound so it's not like I should have been surprised, my family just breed big babies. To be completely frank, I am floating between denial that I will need to give birth to a baby the size of a 3 month old and fear. I am scared because I know how hard it will be and I know that the recovery is long and painful. 

My lovely, amazing and wise older sister has been all of the aforementioned things she is known for and has taken Miss Muffet for some afternoons so that I can get a break. Amazing Sister is very good at getting me back on track with knowing that I can get through this labour, that I have done it before and actually when it comes down to it, baby is coming one way or another whether I like it or not. Told you she was wise. Yesterday she ran into Miss Muffet and myself at the mall and upon looking at me, told me to go home and lie down, she would take Miss Muffet home with her. When I picked her up later, I was given a cup of tea and piece of cake and a good Talking to. Amazing Sister knows exactly what to say and how to handle me and put me back together when I am falling apart. Bless her and her wisdom! 

I have been set up with an appointment with the hospital specialist,  a week before baby is due. At my most recent midwifes appointment I was given the advice of accessing my inner drama queen and making sure that the specialist knows that I am so uncomfortable and not sleeping and that my hips are pelvis are so sore, in the hopes that we can stop me from going ten days overdue like I did with Miss Muffet.  

In the meantime I am going to be having acupuncture and will start some stretch and sweeps. I will be crawling on the floor and trying to keep up my daily walks. But I will also be counting every single day and being unapologetically pathetic- sorry friends and family! 


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