Monday 2 May 2016

The Saga that is Grocery shopping

Today, I am feeling a wee bit excited. And then when I think about why I am excited, I actually feel a bit pathetic. Because tonight I am going grocery shopping ALL by myself. It's not even fun shopping, like shopping at KMart or buying shoes or anything lovely that my pre child self would have bought without having a second thought. Just your general food shop from our local Countdown. Oh Jenn, how the times have changed.

Up until now, Miss Muffet has accompanied me on our grocery shopping expeditions. As you will soon find out, I basically live in two modes- hyper organised or in total chaos, and one of those modes leads to me sobbing in the corner. So as a result, I am the queen of lists and have broken down my chores and errands and activities so that I have a weekly schedule. But I digress.

 Last week, Miss Muffet and I arrived at Countdown with our list, which had been carefully made so that we were shopping for seven planned dinners plus our weekly baking and we had shopped the cupboards so were not going to be doubling up on anything we already had at home. I had packed a snack box ( grapes and crackers) and had Miss Muffet's water bottle ready to hand out as she inevitably reached the point of no return. We left early in the morning so that she wasn't too tired and the store wasn't too busy. We were ready.

The first Big Huge Mistake occurred as we entered the store. Miss Muffet's eyes lit up as she saw that  a car trolley was free and she broke free from my hand hold and raced over to it, claiming her prize. For those who live the blissful existence of not knowing about the car trolley, they are huge trolleys which have a plastic car built around them for kids to sit in. They have a little screen inside which talks to them and a seat belt and are incredibly hard to turn around corners and do not have enough actual trolley space for a proper weekly shop. And Miss Muffet was NOT going to hop out once she was in. And I was tired and weak and gave in. Big Huge Mistake.

We started our shop with me struggling to push this damn thing around the fruit and vegetable section  and Miss Muffet happily tooting the horn and waving at people who smiled and told me she was "so cute".As we got around to the proper aisles, I looked through the back "windshield" and realised that my dear darling was collecting items from the shelves and storing them in her car. Because the damn car was so huge, you had to drive it along the far side of the aisle so that anyone else had a chance of passing you by. Which meant Miss Muffet was having a lovely time shopping all by herself while I was checking my list and naively enjoying the quiet. My second Big Huge Mistake.

I put all the extra items back and handed out the snack box to try and distract Miss Muffet from further chaos and we carried on our merry way. Until my sweet pea of a daughter realised that she could slip out of the seat belt and jump from the car trolley. So now I had a toddler in the loose. And of course she thought this was hilarious- heavily pregnant mummy waddling after her, trying to get her back in the damn cart. So she was running as fast as her little feet could take her. And lots of lovely members of the public were smiling and laughing at my cute little girl as she giggled and dodged me like a seasoned rugby player. Each time, I caught her and man handled her back into the cart and tried in vain to tighten the seat belt, the game just got to be more and more fun. And I got that little bit more fed up. Fail, Mummy. Fail.

We raced around the remainder of the store and reached the check out. Now the thing I didn't realise about the car trolley, my final Big Huge Mistake, was that you can't actually take them in the car park. You need to swap over to a normal trolley at check out. It makes  sense- there are limited numbers of the car trolleys and I bet they are expensive to replace. But none of that logical, sensible stuff really sinks in when you are nearly 2. So Miss Muffet needed to be wrangled into a normal trolley. Miss Muffet proceeded to make her feelings on the subject very clearly known to the entire store and probably the parking lot as well. We had a lovely check out girl who tried to distract her with Disney cards and I tried to distract with the snack box but my dear girl is extremely determined and at that moment she was displaying her displeasure. Loudly. And trying to escape from the trolley.

When we got home, I realised I had managed to leave out seven items from my list as we had raced around the rest of the shop. And of course they were all essentials likes milk and  rubbish bags. But there was no way I was going back anywhere near the store with Miss Muffet. Probably ever again.

So tonight, when Action Dad finishes work, I am going shopping. All by myself. My list is ready and I am going to drift in peace along the aisles, noticing the lovely new products and comparing prices and probably even reading the magazines at the checkout , even though that's naughty. And I am not taking a damn car trolley. 

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