A Crappy Time

It is coming up to nearly a month since I last blogged. I have been filled with good intentions and have been snapping pics ready to blog. I have ideas about posts and have drafted them in my head many a night. It has just been the physical act of sitting down to write that has escaped me.

This past month has been one of the hardest months I have experienced. Poor little Buttons has been sick for 7 weeks and counting- and she is only 10 weeks old. She has had bronciolitis and then a nasty cold which left her so congested that she would choke on the gunk in her airways and turn blue. We have had four doctors visits and one overnight at the hospital. And there is not much we can do but just wait it out. We are doing all the usual cold and flu tricks and ending up hibernating at home  in order to keep her warm and avoid exposing her to any other nasties. 

Her being sick, the absolute terrifying scare of seeing her turning blue and the broken sleep has taken its toll on me and I have been a wreck. You can see it physically- my skin is breaking out, my hair is getting oily very easily and I feel achey. Emotionally, I have been hideous. Tears at the drop of a hat and swearing like a sailor- and I NEVER swear- one of the side effects of teaching! I feel so tense and stressed all the time and like I fail to exist beyond a milking, cracker providing, nappy changing machine. There has been no crafting, reading or any of go to activities beyond watching Food TV mindlessly.

And then there is poor Miss Muffet. She has also been full of a cold and has been suffering from not enough attention. We are right in the thick of the terrible twos- with tantruming occurring daily. My darling little drama queen has developed a penchant for throwing herself on the ground and shrieking and for throwing sweeping her plate of food off the table if it doesn't meet her exact ( and not communicated!) wishes. Her little two year old body shakes with anger and frustration and she can turn from sunny and happy to a fire storm in two seconds flat. I have to keep remind myself that I am the adult and that however frustrated / tired / fed up I am, me yelling will just add fuel to the fire. But damn it is hard to keep your cool when you find that she has explored all of the spices from the spice rack... All over the kitchen floor... That I had just mopped! 

I am so thankful that even though I feel like we are in the middle of a really crappy time, that we are in our home town and surrounded by family and good friends. My mum and amazing siblings who have visited and cooked meals and vacuumed and folded washing, my fabulous bestie who talks to me everyday and and visits with baking, and my Bestie # 1 who although living in another city, manages to ring and text and brighten my day. I am lucky to have these wonderful people in my life.